My senior year in college I would tell my friends, "Our careers are not an end. They are simply a means to an end. Our callings in life do not so explicitly revolve around a profession, but I believe them to revolve around the unique role God has called us to play in serving a specific people, to be a unique instrument in restoring something that was broken in His kingdom. If our calling is to care for the sick in SE Asia, we can achieve that end by many different means - by providing medicinal care, by developing financial opportunities for people to afford that care, by devising and implementing infrastructure to improve sanitation and provide clean water; the means are endless." Now here I am having near completely lost that perspective - my specialty, my career is threatening to become the end. It's as if I've thrown away the secure shield of faith I've had that I am a part of God's great work and His will be done, and I've traded it for the flimsy, tattered tarp of ephemeral comfort I find in the shaky status of my immediate world; I've given up PEACE for CONTENTMENT.
No, what I really desire is still there within me - to find my role in seeking His justice and righteousness, a role into which I can pour all my passion, gifts, and prayers, through which I can say when the race is completed, I've given all in obedience and humility to the path that He has laid for me. And only in seeking Him and His kingdom with all my heart until the very last day I draw breath can I hope to hear those important words, Well done, my good and faithful servant.
I don't know where that path will lead me, but for now I walk the part of that path that is school and I've got to be much more than just a student, though the world may tell me that is my greatest priority. Tomorrow is not given to me, and if my life were to end before I graduate, I'd hate to realize I've wasted the last 4 years of my life in preparation for a purpose I never began to fulfill when clearly every morning we rise is a day for God's glory to be revealed through us - what Grace for Him to have chosen such a wretched person for that unimaginable purpose? Father, draw up my eyes to your throne and make my paths straight.
The more I seek you, the more I find you,
The more I find you, the more I love you.
I want to sit at your feet, drink from the cup in your hand,
Lay back against you and breathe, hear your heart beat.
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace...it's overwhelming.
