60+ days of Celebration

As people ask me these days how I'm doing my first thought is - "i've definitely been better." And it's true that this has been quite a challenging time for me, with long distance relationships, school woes, financial concerns and little things like my bike being stolen, illnesses, car accidents, etc.  And it's really the first time I can remember thinking about DISAPPOINTMENT.  I've never applied that word to my life but I'm really familiar with all its sister words - anxiety, stress, depression, regret, bitterness, apathy and hopelesseness.

As I dwelt on why I was struggling so much with disappointment, which in some ways was a rather novel struggle to me, God sent a bolt of His wisdom my way and I understood that it was because there was such little CELEBRATION in my life.  And celebration is really an amazing thing - it's a word that seems to encompass all the good things like dancing & singing, rejoicing, thankfulness, excitement, appreciation and hope.  I realize I need to celebrate all the wonderful things that are in my life and the enumerable blessings He's given me.  So since I love writing, I decided to chronicle a unique celebration for everyday from now until Christmas.  Hopefully my heart will change towards one of perpetual celebration and I'll grow further each day away from disappointment.  Disappointment is to dwell on the past and worry about the future; celebration is to be grateful for the past, to rejoice in the present and to eagerly charge on to the future.

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Wednesday, October 20, 2010.
I celebrate where I am in life today.  I celebrate all the steps in my life that have brought me into medical school and that have helped me survive M1 year to really begin my first steps into my clinical career.  I've been given opportunities most of the world can only dream about, opportunities that I've not deserved or earned but were given to me by grace.  To dwell on the ways UIC fails, to dwell on my low test scores, to despair at the long road ahead of me - these are all ways in which I neglect and spit upon the amazing grace of God in my life.

Thursday, October 21, 2010
I celebrate health.  I played volleyball today and even during my cold or the aftermath of my salmonella poisoning or whatever I have, to be able to jump around and play my favorite sports is a very special blessing.

Sunday, October 24, 2010
What a great weekend: caught up briefly with Heidi thursday night, had a man-date in Chinatown with my roommate Friday, and spent Saturday catching up with two people from high school.  Sure I was sick the whole time, but I'm extremely grateful for friends.  Friendship has never been what I expected growing up, and still continues to be a really amorphous aspect of my life, but undeniably, God has blessed me with people in my life for the best and worst of times.  I celebrate friends.

Thursday, November 4, 2010
Clearly my plan to update this every single day failed.  But my 60+ days of celebration continue.  I celebrate the upbringing God has blessed me with.  Nearly everyday I am reminded of how blessed I am to have lived in Korea.  I grew up between many worlds and I carry the treasures I've found along the way with me wherever I go now.  People ask me if I'd like to live in Korea again one day - but perhaps it's best to leave the future in the future; God only knows.  For now, Korea don't change too much before I have my next chance to visit you again.  I want to walk down your alleys, climb your hills, eat your street-food, gaze at your lights and live my childhood with you once more.