Dear Father, I'm hungry. It has been a while, a long while since I have fasted, even such a short fast as this. I've become so used to the habit of immediately satisfying my appetite that I have long forgotten true and sustained hunger, again, even hunger such as this.
How terrible is the noncommittal life; how tragic is the apathetic or lazy existence? I am reminded now of what you have said in Revelations:
"so because you are lukewarm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth."
By your MERCY alone, you have not spat me from your mouth.
When I'm hungry, I CANNOT concentrate on anything else. When I am hungry, the mere thought of food gets me salivating, and the anticipation of forthcoming food is near UNBEARABLE. The scent of eminent satiation strikes all other thoughts from my mind. When I am hungry, truly starving, my idol and foremost priority is food. I long for it - I feel as though I may perish without it.
Father, I hunger for you. Though at times, recently, my hunger for you has been like a quiet buzzing, I pray you fan it to be a savage lion, with a longing for you so fierce that I may declare as David once did that to spend just ONE day in your courts would be better than a THOUSAND elsewhere, that I may declare my very SOUL thirsts for you Lord. And all the while that I hunger for you, Father I know that "my soul will be satisfied as with the RICHEST of fare." And truly Lord, You are sweeter than the sweetest honey, more filling than the juiciest steak, more permanent and sustaining than anything I could partake of in this life.
Creator of the universe, Father of all nations, grant me a heart after yours - a heart that longs for the things YOU long for. My wants, my desires, my iniquities, my anxieties - what are they when You satisfy my soul?
Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding, and in ALL your ways acknowledge Him, and He WILL make your paths straight.
Delight yourself in the Lord and He WILL give you the desires of your heart.
Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. - Romans 8:5
Thank you for the cross. Thank you for the resurrection. Thank you for all the hope I have. You are faithful.
Amen.
1 comments:
it's things like this that make me miss you! you have such an obvious faith to me. i miss our chats and walks. good moments.
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