February 2010

It's already February of 2010.  I find one of life's biggest ironies in just how much we can't wait for time to fly faster as kids, then when we're adults we only wish for a way to turn back time.  What sparks that ironical transition?  I guess I haven't experienced life enough to say for certain.  Maybe right now I'm living that transition - a part of me wishes to return to halcyon college; another part of me can't wait until I'm a resident.  Or maybe it's just the present at the moment that I'm having a hard time biding by.

Where was I 10 years ago?  2000.  Wrapping up 8th grade year.  That year actually signifies very little in my life beyond discipleship with Myong.  It was probably my first time really studying the Bible as something of substance outside of sunday school.  We spent all of 6 months studying the book of James - something of my time in that Bible Study gripped me, and I believe it to be the time I first became a real Christian.  As I think upon it now, I think that finding some small semblance of community in that discipleship group after a socially rough past 2 years may have contributed a lot to my hunger for affirmation in God, and my finding Him in the book of James.

For some reason, I remember sitting in on a high school concert and asking Julian, do you think you'll do Psalms next year?  And that very first morning psalms of 2008, my first week as a high school freshman, I stepped into the cave and sat down on the first of many mornings with Mr. Raatz and my Psalms upperclassmen.  Psalms was a continuation of the community I felt a little of from 8th grade.  The smelly carpet, the pictures of Jazz Band, AGAPE, I love you Charlie Brown, Fiddler on the Roof lining the walls, the closets of mysterious violins left overnights - I found much comfort and encouragement among them over the next three years.

But 10 years ago.  I didn't think about my career - I didn't think about being a missionary, a doctor, a pastor. I sought friendship, social acceptance, emotional affirmation.  And I waited on God.  and God was faithful.  Today, I seek much the same things.  I seek friendship, social acceptance, emotional affirmation - I guess now I would call this community.  God was faithful.  I believe He is faithful still - I will wait on God, be it 2000, 2010 or 2050.